I Kind of Hate Living Here.

 It an old " Love/Hate" relationship. 

The older I get, the more I realize I have little in common with most of my neighbors, the people living in this part of the world. 

I rarely hold a conversation with anyone from here. 

Rarely. 

It is why I quit going to church. I have nothing in common with these people.....Seriously.

And I can trace my roots to the people living people  in Orange County to the 1830s. I taught more relatives in Buna than many of you realize. I even failed a couple and had family their grandparents call my uncles/aunts and ask why? ( Because they didn't do any work.) 

I often wonder if I would be happier or will be happier someday when I have grandkids and we look at moving closer. That said, everyday, I get older and older for a move. I don't know if I would find myself happy in a an apartment or townhouse in Austin or Dallas-Ft Worth? 

I found myself happier in Scotland and Ireland than here and I know I will not move there. My favorite conversation was with a guy I met at a pub in Thurso, Scotland. I thought he was just some Scottish " Shebie" ( Their version of white trash) only to discover he had a bachelor's degree from the London School of Economics( If I had any choice to attend any university in the world it would have been LSE, Trinity in Dublin second).....with a degree in the " Modern Greats." I was your " Modern Greats teacher at Buna....well two of the three. Politics and Economics.....Philosophy is the 3rd party of the Modern Greats Curriculum. 

I don't know.....I am eligible to be a member of the Sons of Texas.....The Sons of the Confederacy....I am married, seriously, to the great-great granddaughter of a Confederate General. Yet, I have nothing to do with any such organization. And make fun of the latter one. I see slavery as America's Great Sin.

I am a landowner. More than you know.( In a complicated trust, one of the things having a lawyer brother)  I would be able to vote in old Colonial America. Yet I believe strongly in modern suffrage for all citizens.  

 We always thought we'd have a red-haired daughter in law. It was all our son dated in high school/ college. Yet when he brought a Chinese girl home, we discovered she was the best one of all the girls she ever dated. 

I don't know. 

I often wonder. 

I don't think you know how much I evolved in teaching at Buna. I was hard, hard until about 2002. Super hard in 2000 because I had a couple 3 kids I need to do so for their future.

And I often hate myself for conforming. 

I hate my accent. 

I don't know today......Just a little aggravated at myself for not doing what I know is right rather than " holding back" and blasting the hell out of some of you today....

Just a bad mood today....