Been Caught Cheating

 As many of you know and I often make known on here. I am still an ordained minister, and often, I am called upon to officiate at weddings. 

I was approached by a family I know to marry a couple this Fall. 

A younger couple, they both called me earlier in the Spring to ask me and talk to me about what they wanted at the wedding.

It's planned to be quite an event. Large venue, large catering, they have already put down a large amount of money, at least the families have, both of them.

Was told by the parents that, " They were the perfect couple", they've been together for so long and this is going to be the marriage of as one of the parents told me, " Perfection."

He had a job which required him to travel quite a bit and he was often on Oklahoma and in Colorado for extended periods. 

This past week, the boy called me on the phone and asked for advice. A member of the family had suggested he call me.....And it involved a situation, while I've taken pastoral counseling, it's a good bit out of my expertise. 

It seem the bride to be had a sit down confession with the groom to be. 

While he was gone on business, she carried on several affairs....Including sleeping with 3 boys at one time.

He was crestfallen. 

He of course wanted to call the whole thing off......But, family with an economic interest in the wedding, wanted him to forgive the girl, who went into crying hysterics when she told him, and the family said, " See how it goes between now and the time of the wedding in the Fall."

They thought I would agree and would go with " forgiveness."  

I did not. 

I literally told him to " Get the hell out of here." I told him, leave he girl, see if you can get the engagement ring back and to avoid the family( both), move. See if your job will let you transfer.( Apparently there is a possibility there.)

I am pretty sure he is going to " get gone" to avoid all the family. I may catch hell for my advice, but I do not care.  

BTW- These are people I doubt you know. Not from " here."

Years ago, I was dating a young lady and went through a situation that almost ruined me on females. 6 months before dating this young lady, my long time girlfriend and I had broken up, mainly so she could go and date another guy. That break up was a literal blessing. 

The young lady I was dating and I, well, she implied we were " exclusive." I've never dated anyone or wanted to date someone who was seeing other guys. You want to do that, well, you can do it without me. 

I've dated girls in which it amounted to 1-2-3-4-5 dates and basically let the girl know, it was fun, but I don't we " got it." And generally the girl agreed. 

The young lady I was seeing the time, well, it was turning into a long term situation with another boy. We however, were dating months.

I was to the point I was starting to have feelings for the girl. 

It was around that time I discovered she had a long time boyfriend who lived in Houston. He worked weekend evenings, thus she and I going on on the weekends. ( He came over during the weekdays to see her.)

Here's the strange part. 

The boyfriend knew about me......And was okay with it. As a matter of fact he came in and asked her " What we had done." Including " Had we slept together yet?" " And when you do, be sure and do this for him." ( I did not find out about the questions he asked about me  until later. And was revolted.)

We never slept together. As I have told you, I have slept with one person. I have an old school beliefs on that. Don't judge me on this, I wouldn't judge you. And I married someone who waited. It was important to BOTH of us.....But I do not expect you to. This is my personal mores. Again, no judgement here, if I was in my 20s today, I may look at my sexual mores differently.

But back to the young lady with the Houston beau. 

I broke up with her as quick as I could. Did so in person. Told her I should not be dating another boy's girl and I am ashamed I had, and would have never gone out with her if I had known. 

She cried. Asked me " Not to go." 

I literally was done with girls. 

I did not ask a girl out for 2 1/2 years. I went to school. I got two sometimes three jobs. 

Then my senior year, a little freshman girl  appeared. I thought she was too young however....

Literally, that little freshman girl pursued me. I did not have a chance. Apparently I impressed her and she set her sites. I didn't have a dog's chance.....

Best thing ever happened to me. 

So, my name is probably mud with the groom's family. That said, I think I did the right thing. I hope he move someplace and starts over. I hope he find " the one" there.