Throuple....In Buna?

 I was approached by a third party well, several months ago now, about performing a wedding.

Normally, it is one of the two people getting married who ask. And it can be either the bride, or groom, especially, the bride, if I do not know the groom. 

A third party asking is not that unusual. We had a third party hunt down a minister for us,as our original, our back-up, and our third back-up wound up not doing our wedding. All had good reasons, all at the last minute. And the minister who did it, well, we were very pleased. And it is part of the reason why I generally do not turn down ceremonies. And do them, for whatever I am given. Or not.

But this was for a wedding to take place in the Fall. 

Younger couple, I know of them, know some of their families. 

The third party, God bless her, was very honest, and I am glad she was. 

Come to find out the couple was in a throuple, in other words, a romantic threesome.  

In this case, one girl, 2 boys. 

She( I will refer to the third party as " she") tells me, the girl wants to marry XYZ boy and then, at another date, sooner rather than later, marry the UVW boy in another state, perhaps Vegas, that way, it would be a heck of a honeymoon for all. ( Not sure how that would work?)

Sorry, and I told the third party, I can't do it....1. It's Illegal. 2. My denomination would unfrock me in a heartbeat, and they would need to if I did something like this, and 3. To quote Dr. John Henry Holiday, " My hypocrisy goes just so far."

I can't help myself, both Coonasses and  the Irish both of my ancestry, are curious people. And I ask questions. 

How does this work?

( If anything, I really understand the economics. All 3 have good jobs, all three contribute to the household, because of that, all three are living in a nice home( renting), all 3 have extra money to spend on toys they are interested in......etc....) 

And I should not go there, but I ask about the intimacy portion, because I know she knows, and will tell me...

Apparently, that is sometimes troublesome from her ( the female in the group) point of view. 

It seems when one of the guys is amorous, the other guy is amorous too. 

And while they are not pulling " trains" on her. ( You naive religious females need to get your husbands or boyfriends to explain what that is...and if they don't know, well.....They do...) They are taking turns with her one after the other.....And apparently, it as we say in East Texas, " Wears her plum out." But she is " up for it."

Then because I am curious, I ask about future children......

The plan is that one male will impregnate her, than the other one will have his child later. 

All I could think of was, neither can wait a day to let her " rest up" as my third party expressed it, how can they wait several days one guy practicing some form of natural " Church of Rome" birth control? 

I am sorry, I am old, I have old fashion values on a lot of stuff still. And say you want, I am somewhat jealous. I wouldn't want my wife/girlfriend screwing someone else.( I would leave) Heck, my wife would shoot me , literally shoot me, if I was off playing " hide the salami" with someone else.  

I do not "get these guys who have a girlfriend/wife who is an "Only Fans" model, showing her, " Penis Garage" and " Balloon Knot"  on camera. I don't care if I was getting all sort of Brooks Brother's suits, or trips to England, from the enterprise. I would be gone. 

I am sorry, I am not sharing, and wives, GFs shouldn't be will to share husbands/BFs either. 

Call me old fashion....