Gossip Buna, Gossip

 Dear Gentle Reader, 

I'll have more readers on this blog than any others....

I often hear from people, " Out of the blue" as it is said....

In this case, it was from a person that I had officiated at their wedding. 

Times are so different now ladies and gentlemen, well, I don't understand what is societal norms anymore. Perhaps, I never really did. 

It seems that his wife has asked for them to have an " Open Relationship." In other words for you more naive folks, sleep with whoever. 

I was a bit stunned. 

I'm a bit old fashion and believe if you get married, well, that's your forever partner. You want to sleep with whoever, well, do not marry. And even there, well, again, you'll understand as I write this blog. 

He told me it was alright to write this, as the gossip community in Buna will wonder who these people are.....

These people were, well, I thought somewhat religious. 

And so, he took her at face value, and started talking to an old girlfriend. Well, she went nuts and told him to stop.....It seems it is okay for her to sleep with whoever, but not him....

What? 

I didn't understand, and neither did he.....Anyway, I have contacted legal representation through a 3rd party for him. Please, don't ask me to do this folks. This is not my area of expertise. I just happen to know a lawyer who knows lawyers. No children involved, so just a split. I've never been involved on both sides of a wedding before, before and after, and to be honest, I am a bit sick at my stomach. I literally 'took to the bed' yesterday it upset me so badly. 

The closest thing I have come to this was when I was dating almost 50 years ago now. 

I found out I was dating a girl who had a boyfriend, a serious one working down in Freeport, and because he could not come home to Orange County every weekend, he was okay with her dating other boys.....

Another guy is okay to date.....What? 

I told her goodbye so fast when I found out.......I'm sorry, if I am dating you, I am dating you. Not some other girl. Want to break-up, that's fine, dating is literally a try-out. Sort of like trying to make the team....Sorry, it kind of is....I am sorry, want to date someone else, well, good luck, I am not going to wait around for you. You were not that interested in me in the first place.

There is a long story involving the supernatural concerning this girl and what happened afterward, and in my final ever blog ever, I will tell the story. My wife has never heard it, and it is so wild, well, Hollywood would balk at making a movie. ( Heather will probably want me to tell her off the record....No, You'll have to wait too)

It messed me up so badly, well, I refused to date anyone for several years. 

Yes, years. I seriously was looking at joining an Anglican Monastery near Dallas when I graduated university. I was going to do so to try and save my soul. ( See above)

Shortly after my wife and I started dating, again, I thank her asking me out and literally, she asked, the whole thing was foreordained. The Dadgum Calvinists might be right....

Anyway, not long after we started dating we, on purpose, started talking about former boyfriends/girlfriends, sort of getting that out of the way.....And man, the boys she dated, well, all were way out of my league....

Boys, way OUT of my league. 

A 6 ft 3 inch blond Adonis foreign exchange student from Holland,  a 6ft 2 inch guy who went to A&M on scholarship, and a " normal " size guy......He was cuter than cute.....( I saw photos of these guys)

My wife, god bless her attracted boys like bees to honey. At Lamar there were 3 other boys who so wanted to date her, but she went for me....I think I was as close to a 'bad boy' as she ever met.

My wife is sweet, and a bit naive, but how come none of these guys didn't try to "De-virginize" her, was my first thought....

The sugar sweetness of my wife is not an act....Not going to lie, I felt kind of bad, really bad, I thought you'd feel elation, but no,  "afterwards" on our wedding night and we were in bed, she went to sleep. I stared at the ceiling for the longest.I felt like I'd done something horrid..It wasn't until  the next afternoon of the honeymoon about 3PM I wondered to myself, " How am I going to keep up with this girl?" I felt like the newlywed guy in the Hitchcock movie ' Rear Window ' who had his head out the window try to regroup his strength. Jimmy Stewart was laughing at him. ( Many of you know, Jimmy Stewart is my favorite actor...And Thelma Ritter, also in the show is close to my favorite actress.) 

I digress.....

So, I find out these 3 guys are going to be at her 40th reunion of PNG High School grads a few years ago. 

I had to go....

And I meet all 3 guys....And all are successful, all still handsome men....Especially the Dutch guy.....He's a big shot with the Dutch government.

The A&M grad is now a retired Bird Colonel from the Army.  

The 'cute' guy is successful in real estate....

And, all of us wind up sitting at the same table.

All 3 are now members of the LGBT community.( Not so much 'B') They all have long term husbands or boyfriends.  ( And I like their choices of partners, they got my sense of humor)

So, I don't know, if my wife drove all three to the LGBT community, or what? ( It doesn't work that way, I've told y'all this before. I am telling you, gay folks are born that way. Just like having blue eyes, having blonde hair,or being left handed. )

And when I was in high school, I probably would have sat at the lunch table with them. Smart guys, band guys, a lot of fun to be around and shoot the bull. 

 That said, I am like my late Great Uncle Melvin, "I likes the wimmens."

Anyway, my wife is going to kill me when she reads this blog.