I saw a story on YouTube where girls were paying for dates now, or at least "Going Dutch" in order to avoid having to " Put-Out" in exchange for the boy paying for the date.
Not going to lie, I was somewhat stunned.
In my dating days, I never expected sex from a girl for me paying for dinner, no matter how expensive the meal might have been.
Heck, I no longer understand the dynamics of dating, then again, I've not gone on a date not with my wife in over 40 years.
When I was dating, I was often just hoping for a kiss on the porch " goodnight" and often, even that didn't happen. As I have written, I fell off a porch into the azalea bushes trying to kiss a girl goodnight after our 3rd date.
And as I have written, my wife asked me out on our first date. Of course after a Lamar football game, I had about 25¢ to my name and she paid for Dr. Peppers, and chili-cheese tots we got from Sonic.
I did "pony-up" and we went out to Patrizi's ( Was a very nice restaurant near where Outback is in Beaumont today....Vic and Al Patrizi have been long gone.) and I remember having wood fire grilled flounder. Deb had a seafood pasta that had octopus as one of the seafoods.
We were both college kids and did not have a lot of money and most of our dates involved going to our houses( parents house) and hanging out. I do know, I playing a lot of football and wiffle ball with her brothers and the kids in the neighborhood. Heck her dad and 70+ year old grandfather often played in the tournaments we'd have in her backyard. Deb played as did the brother's female friends in the neighborhood.....I remember Deb's Mom laughing one evening and telling me that her brothers both asked " When is Kerry coming back over?" I remember she would often go and bass fish we me and my parents at Toledo Bend.
I don't know if it normal, but it seemed normal for us.
And we often had time alone, in a vacant house for several hours, just me and her, and yes, we kissed....But never wound up in the bedroom, even though it was available to us.
About 8th-9th grade my dad talked to me about " Do you want to take something from a girl who you may not be with forever?" " Likewise, do you want to lose something to someone that special that you don't belong to forever?"
Now I understand people see this as old fashion, and in this day and age silly. I don't expect you to be this way, I didn't even expect this of my son as people today might be 30+ before they marry, but in my case, it made sense.
I know some people see it hypocritical to expect their wife to be a virgin, but if I had ever had sex with another person, my wife would not have married me. That's how important it was to her.
I don't know, that is how special we thought it should be to your forever partner.
I know this is not for everyone. And even in my younger years, it was a bit to ask of people, but for us, it was important. And so we waited. ( And I had plenty of opportunities before I met my wife, so don't even think that. I had an adult student from Switzerland who wanted me to move back to Lugano, Ticino so she could " teach me." I was 21, she was 30. I need to tell that story one day. Naive me didn't "get it.")
Was it difficult to wait?
Very much so.
And again, this is not for everyone.
But for us, we are/were so glad we waited until we married. Emotionally, spiritually( and not necessarily from a religious point of view) it , well, sort of was/is special to us......It was like " I saved this for you, and only you,
But I am somewhat shocked disappointed, whatever that girls now have to pay for a date in order not to have to " go to bed" with the person they just went out on a date with.
And I know, there is a another world for boys/girls looking for potential mates......I will write on this in my next blog.
